Friday, November 27, 2009

The List Returns!

How to stay out of the trauma bay:

1. Don't forget you put up an electric fence - otherwise you might run into it with your 4-wheeler at 45 mph.

2. Remember - if it sounds a little crazy to jump your motorbike off a huge home-made ramp for a youtube video.......it IS crazy! Unless you think that 4 broken limbs, broken jaw & face, and subsequent stroke 2/2 vertebral artery dissection sounds like "not a big deal" to you!

3. If you're skinning an elk, don't put a freezer underneath you. Use pillows instead - then when you fall off the ladder you get a soft landing.

4. If you're manic, and haven't slept in 7 days, don't drive your shaggin' wagon any further with your crazy wife- even if you're trying to get to Cali for some medical marijuana! Just stay in Kentucky-I'm sure they grow it there.

5. Don't try to jump out of a golf cart while it's moving - you might just fall on your head! (btw - this was a young guy folks - you are not invincible!).

6. If you have spinal stenosis - don't be a cage fighter! (unfortunately, that's not a typical screening in those oh so thorough sports physicals we get).
7. If you're over the age of 65, do NOT get on any ladder, roof, or scaffolding! I know this is a repeat - but I see this like 2x per week. Oh, and the guy that went off the roof was younger - like 45 - you're not invincible.
8. Don't pass a car on the double yellow line....there are reasons for this.
9. Don't long board w/o a helmet - just avoid long boarding all together.
10. Avoid hitting cows with your car.
Number 10 is a personal reminder.....I actually avoided the trauma bay even though my little Civ split 2 black cows standing in the middle of the highway, in the dark. I'm missing both my mirrors, and my front passenger end is a little smushed - but overall I was very fortunate. Definitely something to be grateful for this weekend!! Also, grateful for my incredible brother who made my car driveable by taking all the mangled plastic off the wheel well. He and my Dad are AWESOME!!! Oh btw the cows didn't die either - I backed up the car and checked. One just got a smack to the head and the other a spank on the rear!! All I could think is how embarrassed I would be when they tranferred me to Utah Valley and I met the surgeons or Trauma PAs that I work with - and then tell them that I hit a cow!
If you have any others to add to the list - feel free! I welcome all recommendations!



2 comments:

Marilyn said...

I guess working with people day after day who put themselves in unsafe circumstances makes you extra careful. I am glad that you survived the accident with the cows!

Ashley said...

Wow, people are pretty crazy the things that they do. That is funny about the cows, not funny for your car. I am glad that you are okay and everything. Thanks for checking in on Grandpa Warner today. He was sure impressed. He is a pretty funny guy.